Crude: The Real Price of Oil

For over three decades, Chevron chose profit over people.

While drilling in the Ecuadorian Amazon from 1964 to 1990, Texaco – which merged with Chevron in 2001 – deliberately dumped more than 18 billion gallons of toxic wastewater, spilled roughly 17 million gallons of crude oil, and left hazardous waste in hundreds of open pits dug out of the forest floor. To save money, Texaco chose to use environmental practices that were obsolete, did not meet industry standards, and were illegal in Ecuador and the United States.

The result was, and continues to be, one of the worst environmental disasters on the planet. Contamination of soil, groundwater, and surface streams has caused local indigenous and campesino people to suffer a wave of mouth, stomach and uterine cancer, birth defects, and spontaneous miscarriages. Chevron has never cleaned up the mess it inherited, and its oil wastes continue to poison the rainforest ecosystem.

reBlog from howigotmyjob.com: How I Got My Job

In this episode of How I Got My Job (mp3, 25:10, 23.1 MB), Rob Bennett shares how he got a job as a Desk-side Support Technician. I like how he addressed the hiring managers’ concerns about being overqualified and doing a career change.howigotmyjob.com, How I Got My Job, Aug 2009

So Long, Sarah! Anchorage Bids Farewell to the Governor.

No point in rehashing MudFlats write up of the Sarah Palin exit strategy tour stop of Anchorage, but I will share my favorite photo from the posting:



Check out the whole write up here

Rules for Pooping in Public

How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it..
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt
something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince
ourselves otherwise , the *WORK POOP* is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work , following is the Survival Guide
for taking a dump at work.

*CROP DUSTING* When farting , you walk really fast around
the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone
else gets a whiff , but doesn't know where it came from.
Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart
has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the
smell has left your pants.

*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in
the bathroom , leave and come back again. Be careful not to
become a *FREQUENT FLYER*. People may become suspicious if
they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a
sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee , do
not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a
man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal,
pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is
uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing
makes both parties feel uneasy.

*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop , several farts slip out at
a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen , do not panic.
Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to
spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

*COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant
the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time
the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you
avoid being caught doing the *WALK OF SHAME*.

*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall , to the sink , to the
door after you have just stunk up the bath room.. This can be
a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts
you. As with farts , it is best to pretend that the smell
does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the *COURTESY
FLUSH*.

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work
and is Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The
Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or
magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for
the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the
building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors
that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce
the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in
the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of
the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when
taking a poop at work. If this occurs , remain in the stall
until the *Turd Burglar* leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.

*CAMO-COUGH* A phony cough that alerts all new entrants
into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used
to cover-up a *WATERMELON* , or to alert potential *TURD
BURGLAR*. Very effective when used in conjunction with a
*SHIRLEY TEMPLE*.

*SHIRLEY TEMPLE* A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert
potential *TURD BURGLARS*that you are occupying a stall. This
will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you
hear a *SHIRLEY TEMPLE* , leave the bathroom immediately so the
pooper can poop in peace.

*WATERMELON* A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting
the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If
you feel a Watermelon coming on , create a diversion. See
*CAMO-COUGH*.

SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF:

*The King Poop* = This kind is the kind of poop that killed
Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty,
trembling and purple from straining so hard.

* Bali Belly Poop* = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.

*Cement Block* = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block
before you poop.

*Cork Poop* = Even after the third flush , it's still floating
in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens
at someone else's house.

*The Bungee Poop* = The kind of poop that just hangs off your
rear before it falls into the water.

*The Crippler* = The kind of poop where you have to sit on
the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

*The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang* = The kind of poop that hits
you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

*The Party Pooper* = The giant poop you take at a party. And
when you flush the toilet , you watch in horror as the water
starts to rise...

NOW EVERYONE TRY TO GO POOP IN PEACE



QUIT LAUGHING... POOPING IS A NATURAL PROCESS

stolen from WRAL.com

Timing is everything

[14:00] MarcEntex: so I was watching mcneal lehrer last night
[14:00] MarcEntex: and they have a segment about professionals looking for work
[14:00] MarcEntex: some of them for longer then a year
[14:00] MarcEntex: so I shot myself
[14:01] armonde: apparently you should take aiming lessons from McNair's gf
[14:01] armonde: or should have I guess
[14:01] MarcEntex: she hit 4 times
[14:01] armonde: 5
[14:01] MarcEntex: including herself?
[14:01] armonde: yes
[14:01] armonde: she shot that one too, it counts
[14:02] MarcEntex: right

Top 10 REAL reasons Sarah Palin is quitting

I blatantly stole this from a comment on ADN.com, but can't find a reliable way to link to the original post, so my apologies and thanks to lilsuzq32:

Top 10 Real Reasons Sarah Palin Is Resigning As Governor:

10. She's pregnant again and is having John Edwards' baby.

9. She's "hiking the Appalachian Trail" with Mark Sanford.

8. She wants to spend more time teaching abstinence to her family.

7. She's joining the cast of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!"

6. She wants to spend more time watching Russia from her house.

5. She wants to devote herself full-time to making comedians apologize for all the new jokes they're going to tell about her.

4. Her daughter Bristol actually IS having Alex Rodriguez's baby.

3. She's taking up Playboy's offer to pose nude as part of their upcoming "Governors Gone Wild" issue.

2. She came to the end of the Bridge to Nowhere that is her political career.

1. She didn't resign at all. It was an elaborate hoax pulled off by Tina Fey.

Have any better? Post them in the comments section.

Interview with Andy Hillstrand of The Time Bandit (Deadliest Catch)

In honor of tonight's season premiere of Deadliest Catch, I'm reposting the interview I did while I worked at WagNBrag.com with Andy Hillstrand, co-captain of the Time Bandit:

WagNBrag.com Celebrity Q&A - Andy Hillstrand of Deadliest Catch

I imagine that our household is not unique when it comes to our choices in what to watch on TV. My wife and I seldom agree, which means most of the time we’re watching what she wants. There is one big exception to this rule, Tuesday nights at 9pm our television is always tuned to the Discovery Channel as we are completely hooked on the show Deadliest Catch.

Watching these brave men take their lives into their hands on a moment by moment basis in one of the few true reality shows on TV makes for the type of drama only real life can create. So imagine our surprise when we discovered that just a few miles outside of Evansville Indiana one of our favorite captains on the show not only lived, but owns the Hobby Horse Acres ranch.

Andy Hillstrand, co-captain of the F/V Time Bandit, was gracious enough to take some time out of his very busy schedule to answer a few questions for WagNBrag.com. Hillstrand explains what it's like to go from pulling up king crabs in the Bering Sea to training a horse in the Heartland of America.

WNB: It’s quite a transition from a commercial fisherman to a horse trainer, who introduced you to horses and what is the appeal?

Andy: My wife bought two horses one year when I was out fishing. From there on it was just the pure raw power and gentleness of them that hooked me. Like the ocean, they can be calm one minute and explosive the next which is a fun challenge.

WNB: Your family moved from Alaska to Indiana about 5 years ago, how did the animals react to such a drastic change in climate?

Andy: Like me, they have learned to acclimate, but I’m sure they would love to be by the ocean to smell the salt air again.

WNB: Tell me about the horses you have now.

Andy: I have two dark brown foundation quarter horses, Rio and Midnight, and one quarter horse appaloosa, Snowflake. One yearling paint filly, Buckshot, and a miniature horse, Morning Star. The foundation quarter horses are five and nine years old. Rio is my favorite and he can be seen on my website. Snowflake and Morning Star are on the website too. We board an assortment of other horses too.

WNB: What about riding centers you?

Andy: It is very basic, but not simple. I have to ride the horse without getting in the way of his natural movement which takes all my emotional and mental concentration as well as my physical balance and fitness. The horse provides an instant source of feedback if I am out of balance physically, emotionally or mentally and he lets me know right away; that keeps me very centered.

WNB: What is Natural Horsemanship?

Andy: Natural Horsemanship is the training of horses and humans using communication, understanding, and psychology rather than fear or intimidation or mechanical means.

WNB: Can you apply the same principles to training and interacting with other animals such as dogs and cats?

Andy: You can apply the same principles, but dogs and cats are predators and horses are prey animals. Dogs and Cats operate off praise, reward, and recognition while horses respond to safety, comfort, and play.

WNB: How long have you been training others in Natural Horsemanship?

Andy: Only about three years on a professional level. I’ve been teaching my wife and daughter and friends for about nine years.

WNB: Is Hobby Horse Acres a family affair?

Andy: Yes the ranch is a family affair; my wife and I. Our daughters are grown and on their own.

WNB: What services do you offer at Hobby Horse Acres?

Andy: We board horses, teach riding lessons, train horses, have day camps, host birthday parties and events.

WNB: Describe a typical (if there is such a thing) day at Hobby Horse Acres.

Andy: Wake up at 6:30 AM, making coffee, letting Cali & Bait out (the dogs), checking my emails, making sure the stable hands and instructors are doing their jobs cleaning stalls and getting prepared for day camp or lessons. Until recently I was the one cleaning the stalls and giving the lessons, but now we have employees to do that so I can work on promoting Time Bandit Productions and all that entails.

WNB: What does the rest of your extended family think about the ranch?

Andy: They love it except my brother Johnathan thinks I am crazy because Superman was killed while horseback riding.

WNB: Where did your affinity for animals develop?

Andy: As a young boy growing up around animals, both wild and tame, it has always been in my blood.

WNB: Do you consider your horses as pets? Do you have any other pets?

Andy: More like friends and partners. I have two dogs and two cats.

WNB: What do the animals in your life do for you?

Andy: They teach me to live in the moment and not to take anything for granted, to have fun, live life, love and shut up and fish!

WNB: What other animals have you cared for in your life?

Andy: Baby bunnies, cats, dogs, birds, pet rodents, pet reptiles; the whole gamete of pets my children had during their childhood. Even had pet squirrels! Saved a baby bunny rabbit off the side of the road and hand fed it until I handed him off to a rabbit rescuer.

WNB: If you had to pick between pulling full pots of crabs or riding off into the sunset, which would it be?

Andy: Who said I can’t have both? Pulling pots is like riding off into the sunset.

WNB: What’s the best way to contact you about lessons or boarding?

Andy: Go to www.hobbyhorseacres.net and click on the email us link

For more information about Andy and his brother Johnathan and their lifelong ambition to catch every crab on the bottom of the Bering Sea, check out their autobiography Time Bandit: Two Brothers, the Bering Sea, and One of the World's Deadliest Jobs or visit their fishing website http://www.timebandit.tv. Also don’t miss Deadliest Catch, Tuesdays at 9pm on the Discovery Channel.

You will be missed

I lost something today... and I didn't know I had it to lose.

As some of you may or may not know, I have been basically unemployed since August 2008. It's been difficult - emotional, physically, and financially - but through the support of my friends and my family we have been able to pull through so far.

About two and a half months ago, I got a very short term position via Belcan from a gentleman I had been following on Twitter for a few months prior. John Kennedy was a pioneer in his field. He realized the power of the Twitter service to reach out to the unemployed and connect with them in such a way as to better match an individual with a job. Every other recruiter I have ever dealt with is more concerned with shoving as many faces in front of the client regardless of a legitimate match on both sides just so they can get their commission. Not John. He took the time to get to know you. He wanted it to work.

A few weeks after Christmas, John was let go by Belcan. I never got the story from him, but I got the distinct impression over our conversations that it was due to him speaking his mind honestly in a Jerry Mcguire-ish way that came back to haunt him.

John took the layoff hard. We spoke on the phone several times a week, each time we spoke I could tell John was hit hard by the layoff. He was positive he was going to lose his house, concerned as to how he would provide for his wife and his father, and in general just hit very hard by the suddenness of it all.

I always stayed upbeat with him, promising him that things will work out in the long run. I would ask him how things were going on his interviews, provide him with job leads that I ran across that I felt he would be a fit for, and even talked him up to other recruiters I was in conversation with at the time as a perfect addition to their teams.

In the past week, life got in the way of our talks. I hadn't reached out and it really wasn't his way to call me. I noticed him tweeting still and this morning, decided to call him. There was no answer so I assumed he was either out on a gig or an interview. At 2pm eastern, I saw this update: "RIP you will be missed"

I called his house again and spoke with his wife.

John had committed suicide this morning.

John wasn't one of my "close" friends, but he was someone whom I cared about. He was someone I leaned on in my own way and allowed to lean on me.

I can't stress enough how important it is to help people around you. Please. If you know someone who is letting the stress of this fucked up world get to them, make sure you are supporting them. Reach out, share... just... be there.

I wish I had been there more for my friend...

25 things about me

I originally posted this up to my facebook profile, but thought it would worth sharing here as well:

1. I was born in North Carolina and lived there until I was 4. My earliest memories are our two dogs and the neighbor across the street and her rabbits. I also think I remember walking down our street and seeing dinosaurs attacking each other over the treeline, but that could be the LSD my mom slipped into the formula.

2. I only got straight A's one time in my life - 3rd quarter of my 1st grade year in Richmond Virginia. Scholastically it's been all down hill since then.

3. While we lived in Richmond, my father was the engineer for WLEE AM 1480. I used to visit him at the station all the time and developed my love of music and radio during this time

4. My best friend in Richmond was a boy named Daniel. Daniel was the first Jewish person I remember meeting. Together with another boy, Jason Putt (he had a welcome mat on his house that said Putt Putt for the fun of it) we built what was the worlds greatest tree house, with multiple points of entrance, 5 different rooms across 2 full levels. My parents informed me later in life that it should have been condemned.

5. The first movie I remember my dad taking me to was Empire Strikes Back. The theater was in the Richmond mall and I remember the line stretched through the mall, out the door, down the block and around the corner. We were in line for at least 3 showings before we got in.

6. The second movie I remember my dad taking me to was Blazing Saddles 10 year re-release, I have never laughed so hard in my life and it's still one of my favorite movies.

7. Until High School, I was never in the same school for more than 2 consecutive years.

8. I went to YMCA Camp Storer every year from grade 4 through 10, and then volunteered up at the camp for another two years.

9. I graduated from St. John's Jesuit in lovely Toledo, Ohio. While at SJJ, I was personally responsible for the immortal lines "Ketchup?" and "For I am Robert, the EXPENDABLE!"... ok, so they aren't really immortal but they still make me smile when I think about them.

10. I only went to one year of college, Ohio University in Athens, where I majored in screwing up, drinking Brainstompers from The Greenery, and Euchre. My GPA was so bad I refuse to acknowledge that I had one, which is unfortunately NOT that far from the truth.

11. I moved to Cincinnati in '93 and had to cut my hair for my first job at King's Island (yes the same place Mike Brady took the kids to deliver blueprints for a new roller coaster) as an attendant in the corn dog stand in front of the King Cobra. To this day I remember that 2 corn dog's and a Coke cost $5.25 in 1993. While working at this stand I met 2 of the best friends I have ever had, even if one of them hated me for the first 4 years of our relationship.

12. While stoned out of my mind one night in 1994 watching Simpson's reruns on Fox19, I decided to attend the Ohio Center for Broadcasting to train to become a real Disk Jockey! I graduated 9 months later.

13. My first radio job was at WKID 95.9 fm in lovely Vevay (pronounced Vee Vee) Indiana. I was the Maverick on the New Kid Country. If I had to pick one genre of music that I despise more than virtually anything, it would be country, this job didn't last too long.

14. I worked for Jacor Communications in Cincinnati for several of their stations. While at Jacor, I was able to get Channel 12 news personality Cammy Dierking to discuss in depth how asparagus changes the color and smell of her urine. Within 30 seconds of the end of the conversation, I had passed the tape along to the morning show at WEBN (local "shocking" rock station) and Cammy never spoke to me again... but I still have the tape.

15. Between June 1993 and August 2000, my hair was cut exactly 6 times. Five of those were only small trims to clear out any split ends. I still miss my long hair. Here is my hair in 1995:



16. I met my wife on October 12th, 1998. This is still the luckiest day of my life.

17. My kids are named for individuals who have had extreme importance in my life without realizing it. My daughter Megan is named in honor of one of my dearest friends from high school, Megan Beck, who was tragically taken far too early from this earth. My son Joseph Tyler is named after Joe Perry and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. As lame as that may be, the music those two created has gotten me through almost every negative period of my life since 1987.

18. In keeping with the Aerosmith moment, I have seen them over 70 times since '87, going backstage 10 times. My 50th time seeing them was 10 years and 2 days after the 1st time in the same venue and sitting within 1 row of my first seats.

19. I'm totally addicted to my xbox (live id Armonde74) and have reached the point in my life where when given a choice between being intimate with my wife or playing another game of Call Of Duty 4, I struggle with the decision.

20. I started playing bass in 1987 because I wanted to sound like one of the greatest musicians of all time, Bootsy Collins. 15 years later, I met the great Bootzilla, when a friend of mine introduced us. Bootsy lives about 1/4 of a mile down the street from me now, but in a much nicer house.

21. I've been in 5 auto accidents in my life. Two were run of the mill "normal" accidents. The remaining three involved the following: Hitting a boat (yes, with a car), skidding through a farmer's front lawn at approximately 60 mph and hitting a telephone pole he had lined his driveway with (according to the farmer I had the 1988 Dodge Caravan at least 6 feet in the air upon impact), and catching a car on fire after running over a couch cushion.

23. I nickname my animals after items I could have purchased if I didn't have to spend extra vet money on them. My dog Jack is also known as "Laptop," Kirby is "Vacation," and the newest dog Ringo is "Carton."

24. Since 1997, I have only been drunk 5 times. Twice at weddings, twice in Cancun, once in Toledo where I ran around the parking lot of the Holiday Inn Express in Perrysburg at 2 am quacking like a duck.

25. Though I like to pretend to be miserable most of the time, I know that I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. While my life has not turned out how I imagined, I am lucky to be where I am and I really do appreciate it. (I know this is a cop out answer but it's now 3 hours on this damn quiz and I'm flat out of ideas... you try and do better.)

"Rob's Three Amigo's" application

I am not a social person by nature. I tend not to trust new people until I have interacted with them several times in a variety of settings and even that is just to get comfortable enough to start pushing buttons to see how far I can push them before they hate me, thus reinforcing my predetermined decision that they weren’t worth the effort to be friendly with anyways. (I know, I’m sick but it’s worked for me this long so I’ll stick with it).

That being said, similar to the Dark Lords of the Sith, I have the “Rob’s Rule of Three” which grants me the permission to be friends with three people at the same time (not counting the wife, I’m legally obligated to be friends with her). As I have been remiss in replacing the last friend to leave the circle over two years ago and facing the impending loss of another when he moves to Germany for another job, I have decided to take open applications to join “Rob’s Three Amigo’s”

Prior to filling out and submitting the application listed below, please note the following requirements. Failure to meet all requirements will result in an immediate fine of $500 and disqualification from any future interaction with anyone I know.

1) A tolerance for soliloquy’s. My favorite director is Kevin Smith and I tend to speak in the same style of long, often humorous (at least to me) diatribes about whatever subject I wish to pretend I’m an expert on that day.
2) A thorough knowledge of mid to late 80’s hair metal, in addition to an appreciation to the genius that is Aerosmith (pre 9 Lives).
3) Be geek enough to talk computers, internet, software, and video games with me.
4) Have a thick skin, as I will try to annoy you and once I find something that does that, I will NEVER stop bringing it up.

If you meet the above requirements, please fill out the following questionnaire/quiz and submit with a $25 administrative review and filing fee to armonde[at]gmail[dot]com:

1) Name:

2) Nickname:

3) If I choose to make up a nickname for you, as I most certainly will, do you have any names that are strictly off limits (ex. “Doofus,” “Bozo,” etc…)?

4) Please list your last three friends:

5) Who is your current or most recent best friend?

6) Reason for ending relationship:

7) What qualities do you possess that you feel could not be satisfied by a more traditional friend, like a dog? Use another sheet of paper if necessary.

8) What is the latest/earliest that you will accept phone calls?

9) Identify, using the quote, and re-enact the following Monty Python routines:
A) “I didn’t expect some kind of Spanish Inquisition…”
B) “Do you, in fact, have any cheese here at all?”
C) “He’s not dead, he’s pinin’ for the fjords.”

10) Fill in the blanks: “Hey, Rob, I really _____ your _____! It is totally _____!”

11) Identify the films from which the following quotes were taken:
A) “Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.”
B) “Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!”
C) “Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.

12) If I were to say to you, “Hey, I just got this new Blind Slim Williamson CD. It’s a reissue of a Library of Congress recording from a back porch in Hushpuckenah, Mississippi in 1936 and features Sandbox Leroy on harmonica. If you listen closely, you can hear Williamson’s wife cussing him out during some of the softer choruses,” would you reply:
A) Wow, that sounds amazing. Put it on. Turn it up.
B) Really? Is that the one where they do a version of Memphis Johnson’s “Cott’npatch Moan?” I think I used to have that on vinyl.
C) Why the hell would I want to listen to an ancient, scratchy recording of some dead guy playing an out-of-tune guitar?

13) How many times have you seen Metallica live in concert?

14) If I were to say, “I used to be a doctor, but I had to quit, ’cause I kept losing my patience,” would you reply:
A) Oh, how very, very witty. Ah ha ha ha ha. Please! Stop! My side!
B) There was a time when I held fast to the notion that the pun was the lowest form of wit, but the more time I spend with you the more I am beginning to realize that it is a grossly overlooked and underappreciated art form, one that you are not only single-handedly reviving, but also taking to levels never before imagined possible.
C) Good bye.