80's Gamer Geek Godliness = Ghostbuster's, The Video Game

Animated Christmas

Recreating the intro to WKRP in Cincinnati

Cincinnati.com does a pretty decent job of recreating the intro to WKRP and really shows how the city has grown in the past 30 years

Projected vs Actual Career Path Graph

Transcript of Obama's Victory Speech

"Hello, Chicago.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

"We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

"It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

"It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment, change has come to America.

"A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain.

"Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

"I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor (Sarah) Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

"I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

"And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady Michelle Obama.

"Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the new White House.

"And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

"To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.

"And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best - the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

"To my chief strategist David Axelrod who's been a partner with me every step of the way. To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics, you made this happen and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

"But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

"I was never the likeliest candidate for this office.

"We didn't start with much money or many endorsements.

"Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

"It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give 5 and 10 and 20 to the cause.

"It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy, who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

"It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organised and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

"This is your victory.

"And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.

"You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

"Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

"There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.

"There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

"I promise you, we as a people will get there.

"There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

"But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

"What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

"It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

"So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

"Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

"In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

"Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

"Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

"As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

"To those - to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

"That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

"This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

"She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the colour of her skin.

"And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

"At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

"When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

"When the bombs fell on our harbour and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

"She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that 'We Shall Overcome'. Yes we can.

"A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

"And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

"Yes we can.

"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

"This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

"Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."

Cincinnati Obama Rally - Nov 2

For the first time this election season, I decided to attend a political rally. Typically I avoid them as I don't really see the purpose of surrounding myself with a bunch of people agreeing with me politically. Volunteering, canvassing, getting out there and spreading a message - those are activities that make sense to me.

That being said, given the proximity to election day and the record breaking crowds Barack has been drawing around the country, I decided to wrap the daughter up in some blue and drag her out for a night of political big wiggery.

We met some friends, MARC BERGMAN and Marc Ponnet, at their house around 5:30ish and drove down to the University of Cincinnati to find parking. Doors opened for the event at 6 but the event wasn't scheduled to start until 9, so we grabbed the slowest dinner in the history of the world at Buffalo Wild Wings on Clifton.

Around 7:30ish we wrapped up dinner and started heading down towards Nippert Stadium. At first, all looked well - there was a line to get in but it didn't look that bad... and then we turned the corner... and kept walking... and turned another corner... and kept walking... rinse and repeat several times. Here is a map of the total distance of the line we walked twice - once to get to the end of the line, the other to actually get in:



That's over 1 mile of line.

Some other friends had showed up early and secured some excellent seats 3 rows up from the field so Megan and I sat with them for the speech:



Megan had a great time with our friends Mike and Rachel:



The Cincinnati Enquirer writeup of the rally can be viewed here

All in all it was an amazing night and I'm glad I was able to share it with the only reason I really care about politics in the first place.

Celebrity Interview - Andy Hillstrand from Deadliest Catch

WagNBrag.com Celebrity Q&A - Andy Hillstrand of Deadliest Catch

I imagine that our household is not unique when it comes to our choices in what to watch on TV. My wife and I seldom agree, which means most of the time we’re watching what she wants. There is one big exception to this rule, Tuesday nights at 9pm our television is always tuned to the Discovery Channel as we are completely hooked on the show Deadliest Catch.

Watching these brave men take their lives into their hands on a moment by moment basis in one of the few true reality shows on TV makes for the type of drama only real life can create. So imagine our surprise when we discovered that just a few miles outside of Evansville Indiana one of our favorite captains on the show not only lived, but owns the Hobby Horse Acres ranch.

Andy Hillstrand, co-captain of the F/V Time Bandit, was gracious enough to take some time out of his very busy schedule to answer a few questions for WagNBrag.com. Hillstrand explains what it's like to go from pulling up king crabs in the Bering Sea to training a horse in the Heartland of America.

WNB: It’s quite a transition from a commercial fisherman to a horse trainer, who introduced you to horses and what is the appeal?

Andy: My wife bought two horses one year when I was out fishing. From there on it was just the pure raw power and gentleness of them that hooked me. Like the ocean, they can be calm one minute and explosive the next which is a fun challenge.

WNB: Your family moved from Alaska to Indiana about 5 years ago, how did the animals react to such a drastic change in climate?

Andy: Like me, they have learned to acclimate, but I’m sure they would love to be by the ocean to smell the salt air again.

WNB: Tell me about the horses you have now.
Andy's Horse Rio

Andy: I have two dark brown foundation quarter horses, Rio and Midnight, and one quarter horse appaloosa, Snowflake. One yearling paint filly, Buckshot, and a miniature horse, Morning Star. The foundation quarter horses are five and nine years old. Rio is my favorite and he can be seen on my website. Snowflake and Morning Star are on the website too. We board an assortment of other horses too.

WNB: What about riding centers you?

Andy: It is very basic, but not simple. I have to ride the horse without getting in the way of his natural movement which takes all my emotional and mental concentration as well as my physical balance and fitness. The horse provides an instant source of feedback if I am out of balance physically, emotionally or mentally and he lets me know right away; that keeps me very centered.

WNB: What is Natural Horsemanship?

Andy: Natural Horsemanship is the training of horses and humans using communication, understanding, and psychology rather than fear or intimidation or mechanical means.

WNB: Can you apply the same principles to training and interacting with other animals such as dogs and cats?

Andy: You can apply the same principles, but dogs and cats are predators and horses are prey animals. Dogs and Cats operate off praise, reward, and recognition while horses respond to safety, comfort, and play.

WNB: How long have you been training others in Natural Horsemanship?

Andy: Only about three years on a professional level. I’ve been teaching my wife and daughter and friends for about nine years.

WNB: Is Hobby Horse Acres a family affair?

Andy: Yes the ranch is a family affair; my wife and I. Our daughters are grown and on their own.

WNB: What services do you offer at Hobby Horse Acres?

Andy: We board horses, teach riding lessons, train horses, have day camps, host birthday parties and events.

WNB: Describe a typical (if there is such a thing) day at Hobby Horse Acres.

Andy: Wake up at 6:30 AM, making coffee, letting Cali & Bait out (the dogs), checking my emails, making sure the stable hands and instructors are doing their jobs cleaning stalls and getting prepared for day camp or lessons. Until recently I was the one cleaning the stalls and giving the lessons, but now we have employees to do that so I can work on promoting Time Bandit Productions and all that entails.

WNB: What does the rest of your extended family think about the ranch?

Andy: They love it except my brother Johnathan thinks I am crazy because Superman was killed while horseback riding.

WNB: Where did your affinity for animals develop?

Andy: As a young boy growing up around animals, both wild and tame, it has always been in my blood.

WNB: Do you consider your horses as pets? Do you have any other pets?

Andy: More like friends and partners. I have two dogs and two cats.

WNB: What do the animals in your life do for you?

Andy: They teach me to live in the moment and not to take anything for granted, to have fun, live life, love and shut up and fish!

WNB: What other animals have you cared for in your life?

Andy: Baby bunnies, cats, dogs, birds, pet rodents, pet reptiles; the whole gamete of pets my children had during their childhood. Even had pet squirrels! Saved a baby bunny rabbit off the side of the road and hand fed it until I handed him off to a rabbit rescuer.

WNB: If you had to pick between pulling full pots of crabs or riding off into the sunset, which would it be?

Andy: Who said I can’t have both? Pulling pots is like riding off into the sunset.

WNB: What’s the best way to contact you about lessons or boarding?

Andy: Go to www.hobbyhorseacres.net and click on the email us link

For more information about Andy and his brother Johnathan and their lifelong ambition to catch every crab on the bottom of the Bering Sea, check out their autobiography Time Bandit: Two Brothers, the Bering Sea, and One of the World's Deadliest Jobs or visit their fishing website http://www.timebandit.tv. Also don’t miss Deadliest Catch, Tuesdays at 9pm on the Discovery Channel.

Universal Studios Employee Orientation Video Directed by Matt Stone and Trey Parker

TOP 5 REASONS OBAMA SUPPORTERS SHOULDN'T REST EASY

1. The polls may be wrong. This is an unprecedented election. No one knows how racism may affect what voters tell pollsters—or what they do in the voting booth. And the polls are narrowing anyway. In the last few days, John McCain has gained ground in most national polls, as his campaign has gone even more negative.

2. Dirty tricks. Republicans are already illegally purging voters from the rolls in some states. They're whipping up hysteria over ACORN to justify more challenges to new voters. Misleading flyers about the voting process have started appearing in black neighborhoods. And of course, many counties still use unsecure voting machines.

3. October surprise. In politics, 15 days is a long time. The next McCain smear could dominate the news for a week. There could be a crisis with Iran, or Bin Laden could release another tape, or worse.

4. Those who forget history... In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote after trailing by seven points in the final days of the race. In 1980, Reagan was eight points down in the polls in late October and came back to win. Races can shift—fast!

5. Landslide. Even with Barack Obama in the White House, passing universal health care and a new clean-energy policy is going to be hard. Insurance, drug and oil companies will fight us every step of the way. We need the kind of landslide that will give Barack a huge mandate.

If you agree that we shouldn't rest easy, please sign up to volunteer at your local Obama office by clicking here:

http://pol.moveon.org/obama/office.html?source=blog&id=14534-5214228-RdGZeZx&t=1

XM/Sirius dual tuner units could be 15 years away?

The XM/Sirius merger promised to bring together lots of exciting content to subscribers despite their listening desires, Howard Stern with Opie and Anthony, MLB and NFL, Oprah and Martha Stewart... but the dual tuners could be 15 years away?

Digg It

Joe Biden quote

Quote from Joe Biden at a rally in Mesilla, New Mexico:

“We’re going to start with real meaningful tax cuts. I promise you, if you're unlike Joe the Plumber…be nice if he got a license,” said Biden to cheers from the crowd.

“But, Joe the Plumber -- I know you got a lot of plumbers out here making over 250,000 grand,” he said to supporters. “Raise your hands, please.”

At that point, a young man raised his hand, which appeared to be in jest.

“There's a man,” said Biden. “Go borrow money from him, the guy in the green shirt. He makes more than two-fifty. He looks like he's only 18 years old…which means he earned it the hard way. He inherited it.”

Ghost hearts: Reanimating lifeless organs brings new hope

In late 2005, cardiac researcher Doris Taylor revived the dead. She rinsed rat hearts with detergent until the cells washed away and all that remained was a skeleton of tissue translucent as wax paper -- a ghost heart, as Taylor calls it. She injected the scaffold with fresh heart cells from newborn rats. Then she waited.

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Palin, Because We Don’t Need It

Found this on the Portugal. The Man website and felt I should share:

Here is a story from the younger pages of John Gourley (going by Johnny at the time)…

My first hunting trip.

All through my smaller years, from a boy through to a man, I have known true Alaskans. People who hunted for a living. By "a living" I should be sure to mean "for survival" or "as a necessity… Something along those lines… It was just a part of life growing up here in Alaska. People hunt, people work, people live, and fish and sleep and work and work and work and so on.

One of my earliest memories is also one of the most influential lessons of life in my later years. My first hunting trip.

I must have been around 6 or 7 at the time and the setting is Alaskan winter at my childhood home in the small town of Knik. My parents were both dogsled mushers* and we lived in a house powered by generator alone. (*purely out of the adventure and experience. Not necessarily our main form of travel… though there were some points in my life where it became our most available source of transportation.) Our nearest neighbors were a couple of miles away, give or take. This, again, is not needed in this story but only here for you to understand the place in which the story is set… We happened to be sitting in our living room when, outside our massive picture windows, we spot a moose. I will say, to a young boy, this animal was a giant. I can’t honestly tell you in any way how large it actually was, but to my eyes there was and will be nothing bigger. My family and I were sitting around watching it mill about minding its nature and peeling bark from the young birch trees. After a few moments my father turns to me "Hey Johnny, you want to go hunting? You want to go get a moose?” My mind went running. I had never been hunting before. EVERYONE I knew had been hunting and hunted. They had gone out with their fathers and now it was my turn. I nodded my little head and ran to throw on my snowsuit while my dad went to get his gun.

We walked outside in the cold and the snow, him in his bunny boots and winter coat and myself waddling out like a small scale Michelin man to meet our Moose and our dinner for the next few months. I remember the snow being very deep. Realistically, a foot of snow was deep to a small child. For effect and in the spirit of adventure and Alaskan winters I will say it must’ve been the wildest winter I can remember. Meter upon meter of snow. The naked birch trees blending with the white now, leaving little blotches of black and grey at the knots and branches. There was our moose. We had run right into its path. Right where we wanted to be. My father crouches down to my already shrunken size "Are you ready Johnny? Should we get it?" I again nod my head. My father raises the barrel and looks through the scope. We were less than 20 yards away, if that. He pulls his head away from the scope and looks to me again. "Are you sure? Do you want me to shoot it?" This time I am confused. In my mind I am thinking, "Of course I want you to shoot it! We are hunting! This is what we do, isn’t it? My friends have done it and I know you have as well! What are we waiting for?" But again, I nod. The nod was more out of fear of the moose hearing me. Normally I would have spoken my thoughts out loud. At the very least I would have questioned the hesitance. My dad looks through the barrel one last time. He turns off the safety and readies the rifle. He sights the moose and sits there for a moment. All the while I am looking from him to the moose then back to him then back to the moose. I hear the safety come back on and a turn back to see my father lowering the gun and resting it by his side. At this point I am about as confused as a small boy can be. Dad is looking at me and he says, "We’re not going to get it." I ask him why. What he said has stuck with me throughout my entire life. "Because we don’t need it." We simply stood up and walked back to the house, leaving the moose to its dinner of baby birch.

"Because we don’t need it." Possibly the best lesson a man like this could have taught me. He moved up to Alaska in 1970, 2 years after he graduated. He lived in the deep woods in the mountains of Chase. He has run one of the most intense races in the world, The Iditarod, he worked as a potato farmer, lived off of 300$ for an entire year out in these woods… This man is as Alaskan as anyone I know. The lesson he handed to me was a respect of the world we live in. A respect for the animals we live with and the people we deal with. He has traveled around the state working in construction. Building homes for the people and buildings for companies and upon entering these small towns for work always insisted we hire within the community and support their way of life and living, despite what these companies felt to be the most economical. He has handed me so much, all of my family, really.

"Because we don’t need it." My mother, Jennifer Gourley, is much the same. While my father was away working she would take care of our dogs and run the house. She would fix the generator when it would break down. She took us to baseball and hockey and gymnastics. She took on foster kids that needed help. Gave them good meals and a family setting. She volunteered as a firefighter when there were forest fires threatening the areas. When Big Lake and Knik were being evacuated. She has since, in the most recent years become a fire fighter, an ambulance driver, a rescue technician, part of the dive rescue team, and Willows firefighter of the year. She is a part of her community.

"Because we don’t need it" was something that has been taught to me every day of my life through these amazing people and to watch Sarah Palin get so much attention based on what? 2 years as Governor of the State of Alaska? Or is it based on her time as the mayor of Wasilla? The town of 5,000 at the time.

"Because we don’t need it."

We don’t need drilling in some of our most beautiful and untouched land. We need to work towards options. We should be investing and working towards clean fuels. We don’t need to be draining our planet of every last drop before moving on to the next. Sarah Palin disagrees

We needed votes to add the polar bear to the endangered species list. (I know, I know, that polar bear rug would really bring the room together!). Sarah Palin disagreed

We don’t need aerial hunting… Again. We do NOT need this. I don’t know of any true Alaskan that feels it is good sport to shoot an animal from a plane. Sarah Palin disagrees

We don’t need book burners and censors. Sarah Palin pushed to get the librarian of Wasilla fired when certain books were not removed from the public library. Who else in history has banned books? Not very good company is it?

We don’t need more debts. Palin spent 15 million on a new sports center in the valley, leaving the small town of Wasilla, Alaska in debt to the amount of 22 million. (That’s 22 million more than the debt she took on when taking on this lovely playtime as mayor.) 15 million just for a new sports center.

We don’t need family feuds interfering with duties. I know you feel your ex-brother-in-law was a dick… but trying to get him fired based on this may cause a little trouble. Sarah?

We don’t need another vote against gay marriage. This is just standard every day equal rights being overlooked. Sarah Palin disagrees.

We don’t need to overlook global warming. Science can now tell us "Yup. That is happening.” Not my words, that is science speak. Sarah Palin disagrees.

We don’t need a wolf in sheep’s clothing… or a sheep in wolves clothing, depending on how you look at it. She has billed her self as this overly average "hockey mom" and it is just not what I see. I see the sport hunter, the censor, choice taker, the revelations reader, and the high school cheerleader. It is endlessly embarrassing to watch people fall all over this idea. This is not my Alaska. The Alaska I know.

What we do need is love and respect for one another and respect for the world we live in.

The McCain-Palin Mob

Absolutely amazing video that makes me even more ashamed to live in Ohio

$1000 Worth Of Stock 1 Year Later

Vetting John Mccain

Toughest Race On Earth Trailer - Discovery Channel Show

Web Ad for Zack and Miri

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

Don't Vote

Head of Skate Trailer

Who are you? I'm BatCain

Taxpayers Mad As Hell, And Not Going to Take This Anymore

US taxpayers may be on the hook for one of the biggest frauds in US history. Taxpayers are mad as hell about the US government's decision to bail out Wall St with $700 Billion US dollars leaving the taxpayer on the hook. Reminds me of the movie Network 1976 with everyone screaming "I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going to Take This Anymore".

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From Bill Maher's New Rules

New Rule: If we can’t, after all is said and done, make this election go the right way, at least we can save one man. I’m talking about young Master Levi Johnston. He’s the 18-year-old Alaskan hockey enthusiast who knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter, and the National Enquirer describes him as “a boozing pot-smoker who doesn’t want to get married” – and John McCain thinks he found his soul mate!


We’ve all recently seen how evil henchman of the Republican party captured this poor innocent out of his natural habitat and forced him into a shotgun wedding, all so that their campaign narrative of fake family values could be upheld. When the 17-year-old daughter of the vice presidential candidate running on the Jesus ticket is “out to here,” it’s just better that Levi was introduced as the “fiancé.” Looks a little less white trashy.


But that doesn’t change the fact that right now Levi is America’s number one political prisoner. But Levi, you don’t have to be – this is the 21st century, at least in the blue states. We don’t have sharia law like in Saudi Arabia, or Alabama, and as much as the Bible thumpers would want it, we still don’t have arranged marriages in America. You don’t have to do this – you have options. You can pull a Juno – fuck, you live in Juneau! Or you could do what most people do with an unwanted child: give it to Angelina Jolie.


And if you’re worried about the baby, don’t – let’s get real dude, the way you are at 18, a baby’s better off not being around you – you’ll wind up losing it, or shooting it, or it’ll be on the bottom of your skate or something – just let the Palin womenfolk look after it for a while, one more infant in that Mormon compound they call a house won’t bother anybody – they’ll barely notice another kid at the table, and soon they won’t even remember whose seed it was that produced young “Trink” or “Truck” or “Puck” or whatever fucked up redneck name they give him.


In any event, we here at Real Time have taken the liberty of purchasing the website FreeLevi.org. And I will be happy to give the site over to you if you want to use it to get folks to contribute to some sort of liberty fund so you can get enough money to get out of that frozen meth lab they call a town. And even if the money doesn’t come in, listen to me, it’s not too late: just grab your skull bong, climb out the window, and get on the highway. I can’t actually come get you, or even let you stay at my place because I’m pretty sure you’d smoke all my weed, but just call me from a pay phone, I know of a safe house you can stay ‘til after the election, it’s like the witness protection program for baby-daddies.


And remember, Levi: California knows how to party. Trust me, the girls out here are going to love a big, high-sticking farm boy like you. If you play your cards right, in a couple weeks you could be screwing the lesbian right out of Lindsay Lohan.

Sarah Palin Vetting Documents

One of the blogs I have been following since the announcement has been Mudflaps.

For Alaskan politics, I've found the coverage to be honest, fair, and presented in a way only someone on the ground level can see... it's not like I can understand the nuances of the Alaskan political process from Ohio.

Imagine my surprise this evening, when they had posted the entire 63 pages of the Vetting of Sarah Palin!!! And then add a smile when it's the document created by Dems in 2006 when she was running for Govenor.

I've only had the chance to review the first several pages, but it's amazing how accurate this information turned out to be.

For those interested you can read all 63 pages here

GOP Pundits are *gasp* FLIPFLOPPERS!!!

Why the Media Should Apologize for Writing About Sarah Palin

On behalf of the media, I would like to say we are sorry. We have asked mean questions like: How well did McCain know Palin before he selected her? How well did his campaign vet her? It is not our job to ask questions. To hear from the politicians at the Republican National Convention this week, our job is to endorse and support their decisions.

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About Sarah Palin: an e-mail from Wasilla

This email was posted on Crosscut.com, I'm copying it due to server issues on the original post potentially causing problems accessing what I believe to ber a very important bit of information

I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Gov. Sarah Palin since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first-name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99 percent of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice for vice president and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe."

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life." She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit.

Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her lifestyle ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time) and less than two years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration, most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings, which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative." During her six years as mayor, she increased general government expenditures by more than 33 percent. During those same six years, the amount of taxes collected by the city increased by 38 percent. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax, which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefitted large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenue during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list, though — borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt but left it with indebtedness of more than $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? Or a new library? No. $1 million for a park. $15 million-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex, which she rushed through, on a piece of property that the city didn't even have clear title to. That was still in litigation seven years later — to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5 million for road projects that could have been done in five to seven years without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as governor Sarah proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state.

In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenue: Spend today's surplus, borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was mayor of Wasilla, she tried to fire our highly respected city librarian because the librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the city librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys." Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the city and as governor, she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal — loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the state's top cop.

As mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's police chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a state trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than two dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired, pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town, introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal city administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Gov. Frank Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission — one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil and gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job, which paid $122,400 a year, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this commission (who was also the state chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club," when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Sen. Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects — which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance — but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork."

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The state party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to her self-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla, there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridled ambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team. When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR). She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiaitive that would have either protected salmon streams from pollution from mines or tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on whom you listen to). She has pushed the state's lawsuit against the Department of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as a threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for president; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being president.

There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she.

However, there are a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.

Claim vs. Fact

• "Hockey mom": True for a few years
• "PTA mom": True years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since
• "NRA supporter": Absolutely true
• Social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, but vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconsitutional).
• Pro-creationism: Mixed. Supports it, but did nothing as governor to promote it.
• "Pro-life": Mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby but declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation.
• "Experienced": Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000.
• Political maverick: Not at all.
• Gutsy: Absolutely!
• Open and transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.
• Has a developed philosophy of public policy: No.
• "A Greenie": No. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.
• Fiscal conservative: Not by my definition!
• Pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards.
• Pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents
• Pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history.
• Pro-labor/pro-union: No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union.

Why am I writing this?

First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name, you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "bad things happen when good people stay silent." Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump me out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that's life.

Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the city librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship.

Fifth, I looked around and realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.

Caveats: I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in spending and taxation two years ago (when Palin was running for governor) from information supplied to me by the finance director of the City of Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: Did I adjust for inflation? For population increases? Right now, it is impossible for a private person to get any info out of City Hall — they are swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000" up to 9,000. The day Palin's selection was announced, a city official told me that the current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was 5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to 2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-1990s.

• Anne Kilkenny is a homemaker and education advocate in Wasilla, Alaska.

"The mild mannered but troubled librarian..."

John McCain's Wandering Eyes

What is McCain Thinking? One Alaskan’s Perspective.

“Is this a joke?” That seemed to be the question du jour when my phone started ringing off the hook at 6:45am here in Alaska. I mean, we’re sort of excited that our humble state has gotten some kind of national ‘nod’….but seriously? Sarah Palin for Vice President? Yes, she’s a popular governor. Her all time high approval rating hovered around 90% at one point. But bear in mind that the 90% approval rating came from one of the most conservative, and reddest-of-the-red states out there. And that approval rating came before a series of events that have lead many Alaskans to question the governor’s once pristine image.

There is no doubt in my mind that many Alaskans are feeling pretty excited about this. But we live in our own little bubble up here, and most of the attention we get is because of The Bridge to Nowhere, polar bears, the indictment of Ted Stevens, and the ongoing investigation and conviction of the string of legislators and oil executives who literally called themselves “The Corrupt Bastards Club”.

Read the rest here

MYTHBUSTERS - FASCINATION WITH THE DODO BIRD Pt 10, with Adam Savage.

Wow

Behind the Dude: Steve Buscemi on The Big Lebowski

Ethan probably called me and said, "We have a script and we're sending it. Tell us what you think." As simple as that. I do remember my impressions reading it, that it was funny and unpredictable. I couldn't tell where it was going.

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Help find Steve

Kids can't "go out and play" anymore

Thirty years ago, the "going out to play" culture coexisted with other culturally sanctioned forms of independence for even very young children: Kids as young as 6 used to walk to school on their own, for instance, or take public buses or -- gulp -- subways.

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Michael Phelps 100M Butterfly Victory!!!

Previously unseen 2nd Camera angle from Phelps' amazing .01 second victory

Star Wars The Force Unleashed Demo Gameplay

Filled with awesomeness, let the path to Dark Side commence

Betrayal 2: The sequel to the original montage

Live Action Trooper Clerks Trailer

From the genius minds of trooperclerks.com

SOUVENIR!

Penny Arcade! - A Life Of Service

Halo 3 Video | Mancannon Missle

I don't really play Halo 3 anymore, but this is a great vid I ran across on Digg

Funniest claymore kill Video - Call of Duty 4 Game - MLG Game Room

Death Star over San Francisco // Current

Not such a long time ago in a galaxy not so far away apparenly

I Google Myself

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

So THAT'S why Harry Potter is so popular

"..might be the beginning of the end of the American empire"

The economist who predicted the current economic crisis for the US, has more dire predictions.

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Poison show notes

So we just got back from the Poison show here in Cincinnati, and it was a decent show all things considered.

We missed Sebastian Bach and only caught about half of Dokken (not a fan of Dokken so no big deal there).

Poison was exactly what you'd expect with one Cincinnati specific exception.

Earlier this year a former colleague of mine, Mr. K from WEBN, passed away due to injuries sustained from a motorcycle accident. Mr. K was one of the kind of guy that was just great to be around. He exuded charisma and humor. You just felt you could trust him no matter what and it was truly a sad day in the area to have lost a friend, an entertainer, and a talented musician.

While at EBN, Mr. K was best known for his Wednesday lunch show - Big Hair Wednesday - and had one of the most entertaining shows on the station at the time. While the show always had a bit of ironic humor to the music, it was obvious that he truly had a love for that genre and was respected throughout the "Glam" community for his efforts to keep fun rock relevant.

Tonight at the show Brett Michels gave a very heartful and emotional sendoff to Mr. K, dedicating the entire show to him and then honoring him with the song "Ride The Wind."

I've been to hundreds, if not thousands, of live shows in my life and never had I had the goosebumps I felt when the entire crowd raised their arms and voices to honor a man that I feel truly humbled to have known. Well done.

Alaska without the Cruise Ship

For most people, "Alaska" is synonymous with "cruise ship." In fact, of the 1.6 million tourists who visited Alaska last year, 1 million did so by cruise ship. For whatever reason, it has been drilled into our heads that there is no other way to see the 49th state.This is absolutely not true.

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KISS Bears

Creative Writing Assignment

This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students:
In-class assignment for Wednesday: Tandem Story. Each person will pair off with the person sitting next to them. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on until both people agree a conclusion has been reached. The story must be coherent, and each paragraph relevant to the prior one.
-------------------------------------------
Rebecca and Gary
English 144A
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who had once said in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Team Captain Carl Harris was leading his patrol squadron into orbit over Skylon 4. Carl had more important things to think about than the neuroses of that air-headed asthmatic woman named Laurie who, after one sweaty night over three months ago, was still desperately clinging to an illusion of a relationship she had fabricated in her unbalanced mind. "Alpha Tango One to Geostation One-Niner-Three", he said into his subspace communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance..." But before he could sign off a bluish plasma beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit threw him out of his seat and into the cockpit control panel.

He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian battleship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted, bleeding-heart peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the U.N. had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empire who was determined to enslave the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet and nothing to stop them. They swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in a submarine off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 15 million other Americans. He slammed his fist on the conference table. "I KNEW this would happen! I am exercising my executive privledge to annul that treaty effective IMMEADIATELY! Ready the nukes, we're gonna blow those bastards out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.

Added only for the last cut

Funny Accidents with Commentators - The most amazing home videos are here

Deeper Thoughts

    Purportedly from a newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15
   were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey." This stuff
   is hilarious.
   
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why
I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15
   
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept
the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13
   
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday,
like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of
people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for
the long weekends. --Age 8
   
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just
any old yokel vote. --Age 10

Home is where the house is. --Age 6

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. --Age 13

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some
people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks.  --Age 15
   
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.
Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's
what happens to cheese when you leave it out. --Age 6

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get
buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should
have told him the truth--that most of us go to hell and burn eternally--
but I didn't want to upset him. --Age 10

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at
which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they
appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's
right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell
Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia,
and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have
found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic
table.  I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with
wonder.  We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. --Age 15

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again.  But he better
have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. --Age 5

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just
a lawn mower. --Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that
the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water
for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population
gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there
was a big fire and everyone died. --Age 13

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog.
Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of
his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor. --Age 14

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a
few minutes each day.  At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days
saved up. --Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That
is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident.
No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood
would be right there. --Age 5

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you
had that many Twinkies.  Wow, that's five more than the biggest number
you could come up with! --Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe
"Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it
morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
--Age 15

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no
feet.  So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them,
right? --Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world
peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the
looting started. --Age 15

Star Wars Vs. Rush Hour

Never touch Lando's Radio!!

Interview with Deadliest Catch captain Andy Hillstrand

Andy Hillstrand, co-captain of the F/V Time Bandit, was gracious enough to take some time out of his very busy schedule to answer a few questions for WagNBrag.com. Hillstrand explains what it's like to go from pulling up king crabs in the Bering Sea to training a horse in the Heartland of America.

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Are Niche Sites The Future of Social Media?

I love the big sites like MySpace & Facebook for their incredible and innovative impact on the web and social marketing, I also hate them for being such a mess to get anything really useful out of. Niche social media sites provide the missing link in social media. . They are the intermediary between Googles high relevance & Diggs "whatever goes".

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Not Giving a Fuck!

nsfw

Foreshadowing?

Just prepping you... today while I was mowing the lawn wifey was taking pictures of me, so either there's the hottest new male porn site coming down the pike, or I imagine we'll be getting a visit from a local enforcer of some kind this week...

The Dark Knight

OK, so I saw the movie, and I'm not going to ruin it by posting any details, let's just say that I had a major geek-gasm during the entire thing. Nolan could have easily cut this into 2 separate movies and I'm proud of him for not trying to cash in Ledger's death by doing so. It easily made my top 5 movies of all time and is a serious contender for the #1 slot.

Go see this movie. Now!

As the fewd turns

Well, the fucking morons called the health department on me. Now, I will have to say, they qualify for the "fucking morons" statement wholeheartedly due to their complaint.

I'm sitting here, working when the doorbell rings. It's a member of the Clermont County Health Department, they've received an "anonymous" tip that I'm dumping yard waste and animal feces in such a way that it is causing a smell for my neighbors.

I take him back to the area of the yard that I use for such a purpose, the far right corner. I dump my clippings back there but the dog poop is only accidental accumulation due to either bag pickup or the dogs actively going back there and pooping in the pile.

So why do they qualify for fucking morons? Because the idiots dump their clippings literally on the other side of the fence from mine. He walked back there and said "Well, I really don't smell anything other than some molding grass and with your neighbor doing the same thing, it's hard to tell where it's coming from if anywhere. Since it was an anonymous report, I'm not going to fill out any paperwork just make sure you clean up any dog feces and leave it at that."

What the idiots apparently don't know is that it is local law that if you have a pool you have to have a gate locked at all times around it. Guess who doesn't. Two can play the "let's call the authorities" game.

More to follow, I'm sure of it.

Problem solving flow chart

Dread Zeppelin Heartbreaker

A woman, a neighbor, a dog and the battle to win the title

It became a learning experience that English Bull Dogs are well known for the passing of gas. I also discovered that when one does something, the other dogs like to follow through and see if they can win the title of "Best Gas Spreader."

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The feud continues

I had to fight the urge to type "fewd" there.

So after my marathon typing earlier today who knew that there would be an update to the story so soon? I won't lie, I expected one.

So my kids come home and they want to play outside. Since my wife was going out after work with some of her friends, I figured it would be OK for them to play while I made dinner and what not, so I reminded the kids not to go over to the fence, just stay by the swingset and play. Kids being kids, they weren't happy with that, especially since the grandkid was over next door, so I went outside and played some tee ball with them to keep them where they were supposed to be.

After about 30 minutes, we head back inside where I make some "good" mac and cheese for them and feed everybody up while we watch the Simpsons. After dinner they want to go back out. A quick look out back did not show any neighbor activity, so I sent them out while I intended to focus on the dishes. I start emptying the dishwasher and turn around just in time to see my 2 year old making a beeline for the fence screaming for Wifey. Wifey obliges and comes out and proceeds to give him a flower from their garden (a habit they were into long before this feud started). I immediately head outside as now that my daughter has seen floral gifts she wants one too. I get to the fence just in time to stop that transfer and calmly explain to Wifey that it doesn't work like that. She doesn't get to try and butter up my kids less than 24 hours after screaming at me in the front yard about how I killed their cat. I said that I knew she was only trying to be nice to my kids and I appreciated that effort but it was unacceptable and unwelcome, she was to have nothing to do with any member of my family. I was then told to "grow up, they're only children" to which I replied "I am grown up, I'm trying to protect my children from what I perceive to be your mistakes by allowing him to continue to live there. Please stay away from my children and I will make every effort to prevent them from bothering you as well." I think I hurt her feelings when I said that, but frankly I don't care anymore. I am tired of being accused of being the bad guy when all I was trying to do was be a good neighbor.

Lesson officially learned. Screw everyone except blood and proven friends. Trust noone and always assume they are out for personal gain exclusively. It's not a lesson I wanted to teach my kids, especially not so young, but I guess the earlier they start preparing for the "real" world, the better off they'll be in the long run. I can honestly say I didn't picture it going down like this, but whatcha gonna do?

Me and the neighbors, we be afeudin'

Ok - so those three of you who actually come to this blog have bits and pieces of the story and I figured to save my typing via IM repeatedly I'd just post the whole thing here, then you can just receive a link.

I have the strangest neighbors I have ever met. The house, intermittently, contains the wife, the husband, and the exhusband. The wife is one of those people you meet and she doesn't know when to shut up, she will tell you her entire life story within the first 5 minutes of meeting her, including details you wouldn't normally share with close family members. The husband is an alcoholic, drug abusing, wife beater who hasn't had a job the entire time they've lived there. The Ex-Husband seems to be a nice guy, he doesn't really talk much, keeps to himself goes to work, comes home.

So they've lived next door for about 5 years now. The house is in her parent's name as all of their credit is so bad even in the height of the subprime mortgage phase, they didn't qualify. In the past 5 years, the cops are at their house on average once a month. Sure they skip a month ever now and then, but they more than make up for it later. That I know of, she's been arrested 3 times for spousal abuse, the husband 7 times for spousal abuse, 3 times for drug related charges, 4 dui's, and a concealed weapon charge. The ex has gotten 2 dui's. The hubby has never spent a full year in the house, as he goes to jail an average of 3 months a year. We call it his winter sabbatical, cuz we're just witty like that. That's the overall background. Go ahead and grab a drink and hit the bathroom and I'll wait for the rest of the story...

Back? Good.

So back in late February/early March of this year (08) cops are called, he's beating her up again, he gets taken away, she files a restraining order against him. She made it a point to go to each of the neighbors and mention the restraining order and asked us to call the police if we saw him around the house. Things were quiet for a long time, the longest yet. Then suddenly at the beginning of June, he was back, just for a day. Weird I thought, but what business is it of mine, they weren't fighting, no harm no foul. The next day I'm sitting at the table on a work conference call when the doorbell rings. I answer and find 2 Union Township Police Officers at my door. The say that they got a report of a domestic disturbance at my address and asked if my wife was home. I explained that she had left for work around 7:15 am and I was pretty sure that the address was wrong, they probably meant next door. Nothing doing, they search the house, I provide them with the wife's work number and a description of her car so they can confirm she's at work (she's quite busy most of the time and doesn't always answer her phone). They then go next door and, huh, what do you know, the call was meant for over there. A few hours pass, and I decide to be a good neighbor and go over to check and make sure she's ok. Hubby answers the door, shirtless (of course, I've never seen him in a shirt unless he's leaving for court) and immediately screams "Did you call the fucking cops?" I reply that I hadn't that they had, in fact, come to my house first and I was just stopping by to make sure everything was OK. Wifey comes out, I explain why I'm there and she seems to be appreciative. I call my wife and explain what just happened and she's concerned and confused, since we were asked to call the cops if he showed up, but now he's back. When my wife got home that evening we went out back and called over for neighbor wifey to come to the fenceline. We were calm and understanding and just asked for clarification on the "call the cops if he's around the house" issue which she reported was not a problem any more, he was only staying for a couple of days (she went into more detail but I'll spare you that). I expressed my concern given his violent nature and pending concealed weapon charge. Our children play with their grandkid quite often and didn't want to put them in harms way. She seemed to understand and reassured that he would be leaving soon. The issue was effectively over... or so we thought.

About a week passes, hubby is still around, but I'm just minding my own business. I won't lie, I kept the kids inside that week waiting for him to leave. They start whining about wanting to go out and swing, so I head out there with them and they immediately run to the fence to talk to the grandkid. I sit down on the deck and keep an eye out, but I'm also working on a few things when I hear hubby call over the fence, he wants to talk to me. I say sure and walk over and away from the kids. He asks me what my fucking problem is with him (nice way to lead off a conversation, huh?). Given my nature and believing that it's too much work to be anything but brutally honest I told him. I said my problem is he's an alcoholic, drug addicting, wife beater and I don't want him around my children. He proceeds to get indignant that somebody would call it correctly and starts to attack me verbally (yeah, after 34 years being called fat really hurts me... I almost started weeping right there). He said he would never do anything to my kids, what fucking business is it of mine if he's over there. I calmly explain the situation, that after their last encounter we were told that he had a restraining order out against him, I didn't call the cops, but we had been asked to so we wanted clarification. He started puffing out his chest and calling me a punk ass bitch. I responded "Go ahead and hit me, I'd gladly take a punch to get your ass out of this neighborhood for at least 6 months. I'm not like your wife, I won't drop the charge." He sees I'm not joking so goes back in his house, but not before grabbing his crotch. I yelled over at him, "That's right keep checking to make sure it's there as it's the only thing you can lay claim to to being a man." (probably not the best thing to say, but it seemed funny at the time)

I gather the kids up and take them inside and make dinner. My wife comes home and I explain the situation of what went down to her, she rolls her eyes in a "you've opened your mouth again" kind of way and we move on to bigger and better things. About an hour later we take the kids out front and start talking with some of our other neighbors across the street. While the altercation did come up in that conversation, it was a quick mention and then we moved on. After about 30 minutes or so, Wifey and Hubby come out of their garage and start screaming across the street at me. How dare I call him an alcoholic, he'll take a drug test right now, what right do I have to say who can live in their house.... yadda yadda yadda. Not wanting to get my neighbors involved in what is quickly becoming a serious issue, I walk back across the street onto my property and calmly answer their accusations. I am not saying who can live in that house, I was answering a question that was asked of me, I'm sure you would piss clean right now, you have court in a week. He starts puffing out his chest again and I repeat my "throw a punch, I'd love it" line. He tells me again he'd never touch my kids, in fact he'd sacrifice his own life for my kids he was in the military, did I ever serve my country? (side note as I've pulled up his service records, he spent one week in basic and was booted)

My wife at this time decided that the police should probably become involved so she called them. Wifey and Hubby go running back in their house while I wait outside for UT's finest to arrive. They pull up and I explain my side to them. While I was talking Wifey came out and started screaming at them, to which they replied "Wifey (not going to use her real name at this point but they know her well), you KNOW how this works. Go back in your house and we will be over in a few minutes." So I finish up my side and explain that all I want is for my family to be left alone. I'm fine with not talking to them, acknowledging their presence on this planet, anything to not have a repeat of this situation. The cops say ok, and go over to talk with them. Same request is made, problem solved.... or so we thought.

Saturday, July 12th was a pretty decent day here in Cincy. We woke up, had breakfast, then left to take the kids to see a movie at the local theater. Then we headed up to Mason to have lunch with my parents then on to Xenia where we visited Young's Dairy Farm so the kids could play and have some ice cream. It was a great time, we have tons of pics. All told, we were away from the house from about 9:30am until about 6:00 pm with just one short trip back in between the movie and lunch so the kids could go to the bathroom and I could throw the extra seats in the back of the car. We got home, the kids laid down to rest a bit and I went outside to mow the lawn. I finished up around 8, Kerri had already fed the kids and I wasn't hungry so while I bathed and put them to bed for the night, Kerri went off to do some small grocery shopping. She comes back around 10 and says "two cops just pulled up in front of the neighbor's house." We figure he's just started hitting her again and feel vindicated that we were right, YEAH US!!! That is until the phone rings. It's our neighbors across the street. They tell us that Wifey and Hubby's outside cat has just been found dead and I jokingly say something along the lines of "oh, you know we'll get blamed for that too" Oh how little I knew. The way the story was relayed to me (My wife and the neighbor's wife were the ones on the phone) I thought the cat was found across the street. It was not until the next day when my phone rang and it was Steroided out Son In Law screaming at me that I discovered that the cat was found in our yard. Murphy really has a hard-on for me sometimes. That's when 2 and 2 got put together and we realized that the cops weren't called the previous night for a domestic disturbance, but to report that I had killed their cat.

So aside from being screamed at a few more times about how God is going to judge me, people see what I am, yadda yadda yadda, that's where we stand as of Sunday afternoon. I've been told that I can get a Civil Stalking restraining order out against them but we've yet to decide if we should go that route.

That's the story, I'll add more later as it unfolds.