Friday, May 30, 2008
Xbox LIVE's Dark Side
Everyone knows how amazing Xbox LIVE is, but the service is still filled with significant gamer-based problems. Outside the White Box explores this "dark side", and gives you a few possible solutions to avoiding some bad experiences when you jump online.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A Couple of Beers
A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a "VERY LARGE" and empty mayonnaise jar. He proceeded to fill it with rocks, which were about 2 inches in diameter. He filled the jar to the top!
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They said, "Yes."
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into thejar. They rolled into place, all around the rocks. He shook the jar lightly. This allowed him to pour more pebbles in, until they were up to the top of the jar.
He again asked the students if the jar was full. They said, "Yes."
The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled the spaces between the pebbles.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students wondered what the right answer was this time, wondering what else could be poured into the jar.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty spaces in the sand. The students mumbled.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The rocks are the important things -- your family, your partner, your health, and your children. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks! The same goes for your life. If you spend all of your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first . . . the things that really matter . ..then the pebbles.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand (the little stuff)!"
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They said, "Yes."
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into thejar. They rolled into place, all around the rocks. He shook the jar lightly. This allowed him to pour more pebbles in, until they were up to the top of the jar.
He again asked the students if the jar was full. They said, "Yes."
The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled the spaces between the pebbles.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students wondered what the right answer was this time, wondering what else could be poured into the jar.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty spaces in the sand. The students mumbled.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The rocks are the important things -- your family, your partner, your health, and your children. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks! The same goes for your life. If you spend all of your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first . . . the things that really matter . ..then the pebbles.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand (the little stuff)!"
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
Teen figures out how to decompose plastic bags in 3 months
Ontario high school junior Daniel Burd wanted to try to figure out if there was a way to get plastic bags to decompose faster. As it stands, it takes thousands of years for the wasteful objects to disintegrate. But by using bacteria, he figured out how to make it happen in a mere three months.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I admit, I laughed
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she fin ally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b #$&* knows I'm smarter than her.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she fin ally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b #$&* knows I'm smarter than her.
Friday, May 23, 2008
These are the conversations that make my day tolerable
[13:29] MarcEntex: RA2 is a great game
[13:29] armonde: yep
[13:30] MarcEntex: yeah
[13:30] armonde: mmhmm
[13:29] armonde: yep
[13:30] MarcEntex: yeah
[13:30] armonde: mmhmm
Liberty City Beats GTA IV Video
Can't believe the trouble this guy has gone to... this is all created in-game without glitches, just lots of experimentation and patience.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Betrayal: A Halo 3 team killing montage
As a person who sucks hardcore at Halo3, I found this hilarious
Pet-Preneurs
So the new concept behind the growth of WagNBrag.com is built around the "Pet Preneur." This is a local individual who is responsible for advocating WNB in their area as well as local sales.
I have to do it here in Cincy, which should be interesting as I HATE sales... I mean hate it. I guess the one positive is that since I control the entire product, I won't have to worry about over promising or under delivering to those businesses I sell to.
I have to do it here in Cincy, which should be interesting as I HATE sales... I mean hate it. I guess the one positive is that since I control the entire product, I won't have to worry about over promising or under delivering to those businesses I sell to.
Friday, May 16, 2008
I like to stalk people in Grand Theft Auto 4
Stolen from gamefaqs.com message board
Follow them everywhere they go. They get in a cab or car, I'll follow behind them slowly at pace equal to theirs, always 2 cars length behind them. They get a hot dog, I get a hot dog, etc.
While doing this one day I came across a couple. A dark haired man with medium length hair, and this girl who had gorgeous long blond hair.
I followed this couple for miles, from Alderney City to the bright neon lights of Star Junction, they were seemingly happy, joyful, in love with one another. The man cared for his girlfriend, and the girlfriend cared for her boyfriend.
They ate happily together, eating hot dogs, taking in the city. Always staring into each others eyes with deep glee and happiness. I had never seen so much love between two people. I cared for these two as much as they cared for each other. I would do as much as I can to make sure nothing would ever happen too them. After going ahead of them a bit and beating up hobos, walking in traffic ahead of them to make sure if a car were to come I would take it for them, and any other nuisance there could be.
Then it happened. After watching them stare at a giant ad in the Star Juction I realized something. I am alone. No one. Michelle was long gone for something I do not wish to bring up. Kiki dumped me when she found out I had been having intercourse with hookers then bash their heads in with a baseball bat to gain my money back. Carmen never called me again after our first date, mostly due to me pushing her down a set of subway stairs, then stopping her head into the steps. I never tried any other woman due to me thinking it was pointless at this point. I began to feel sad.
I thought to myself, "Why can that man not be me?" "Is he any better than me?" "Why wouldn't she think of dating me? Get some coffee, even at least TALK TOO ME?" I wanted her. I wanted this mysterious blond with the looks of an angel, and the laugh of a child. I wanted to be that man, I wanted to have what he had, to know that joy of having somebody care for your own well being. I was jealous of the man. I wanted that I could not have, that I desired for so much. The longer I watched them, the longer I wanted to become him, at any cost. I then felt remorse. Saddened of what I had become, a lonesome man stalking random pedestrians. But when the thought of this man touching her, kissing her, loving her... the thought of remorse was thrown to the back of my head as if I had never thought it.
I set forth a plan. I will kill him. Take up my new identity as him. And me and the blond will live happily together forever.
I knew what I had to do. I drive her whilst her screaming like a banshee. I reach my destination. The cliff next to Mikhail Faustin's house. If you've ever seen this part of the game there are rocks and old cars that seems from the '50s, and '60s at the bottom.
I rev my engine. She screams even louder. I drive faster, faster, and faster. Her death curling scream gets louder, louder, and louder.
We fly off the edge.
Everything is then silent for a mere second. This second feels like an eternity. I know what I am doing, I feel no regret. I am also for the first time in a long time; happy.
We both plummet to bottom and die instantaneously. They will never know who killed John, or the cab driver Shafeeq. They will never find the body of Sara or Niko Bellic. The ocean mixed with gasoline fueled fire will ruin any traces of either of our pasts or future.
I then revive at a hospital and steal a Blista Compact and go bowling with Roman.
Follow them everywhere they go. They get in a cab or car, I'll follow behind them slowly at pace equal to theirs, always 2 cars length behind them. They get a hot dog, I get a hot dog, etc.
While doing this one day I came across a couple. A dark haired man with medium length hair, and this girl who had gorgeous long blond hair.
I followed this couple for miles, from Alderney City to the bright neon lights of Star Junction, they were seemingly happy, joyful, in love with one another. The man cared for his girlfriend, and the girlfriend cared for her boyfriend.
They ate happily together, eating hot dogs, taking in the city. Always staring into each others eyes with deep glee and happiness. I had never seen so much love between two people. I cared for these two as much as they cared for each other. I would do as much as I can to make sure nothing would ever happen too them. After going ahead of them a bit and beating up hobos, walking in traffic ahead of them to make sure if a car were to come I would take it for them, and any other nuisance there could be.
Then it happened. After watching them stare at a giant ad in the Star Juction I realized something. I am alone. No one. Michelle was long gone for something I do not wish to bring up. Kiki dumped me when she found out I had been having intercourse with hookers then bash their heads in with a baseball bat to gain my money back. Carmen never called me again after our first date, mostly due to me pushing her down a set of subway stairs, then stopping her head into the steps. I never tried any other woman due to me thinking it was pointless at this point. I began to feel sad.
I thought to myself, "Why can that man not be me?" "Is he any better than me?" "Why wouldn't she think of dating me? Get some coffee, even at least TALK TOO ME?" I wanted her. I wanted this mysterious blond with the looks of an angel, and the laugh of a child. I wanted to be that man, I wanted to have what he had, to know that joy of having somebody care for your own well being. I was jealous of the man. I wanted that I could not have, that I desired for so much. The longer I watched them, the longer I wanted to become him, at any cost. I then felt remorse. Saddened of what I had become, a lonesome man stalking random pedestrians. But when the thought of this man touching her, kissing her, loving her... the thought of remorse was thrown to the back of my head as if I had never thought it.
I set forth a plan. I will kill him. Take up my new identity as him. And me and the blond will live happily together forever.
I knew what I had to do. I drive her whilst her screaming like a banshee. I reach my destination. The cliff next to Mikhail Faustin's house. If you've ever seen this part of the game there are rocks and old cars that seems from the '50s, and '60s at the bottom.
I rev my engine. She screams even louder. I drive faster, faster, and faster. Her death curling scream gets louder, louder, and louder.
We fly off the edge.
Everything is then silent for a mere second. This second feels like an eternity. I know what I am doing, I feel no regret. I am also for the first time in a long time; happy.
We both plummet to bottom and die instantaneously. They will never know who killed John, or the cab driver Shafeeq. They will never find the body of Sara or Niko Bellic. The ocean mixed with gasoline fueled fire will ruin any traces of either of our pasts or future.
I then revive at a hospital and steal a Blista Compact and go bowling with Roman.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
When Wives Meet GTA IV (stolen from theexplodingbarrel.com)
We usually don't write many personal pieces here on TEB, but I just have to share the story of my wife playing GTA IV for the first time. I want to make a couple things clear before I start this absurd story. 1. I love girl gamers. I think its awesome when girls get really into video games and break stereotypes by whooping ass in COD4 or GTA IV multiplayer. I'm not trying to hate on girl gamers. 2. I love my wife and she is very understanding of my video game obsession.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.
As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, "After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?" She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, "You wanna drive around for a bit?" She replied, "Sure, why not." During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.
I was in some shitty coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that's when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled "Why does my guy keep ducking??" I yelled "Click the left-stick" repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said "Awww, that's not nice, he learned his lesson." He learned his lesson indeed.
After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself "This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble." I couldn't have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, "Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules." Yeah, because THAT'S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?
My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to "check and see if she is ok." I'm not making this shit up. I asked my wife, "What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?" to which she replied, "Can you do that in this game?" Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)
After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City's finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled "Stop! Stop! You're being like that kid from Virginia Tech!" Seriously, I'm not making this shit up. Chalk one up for Jack-fucking-Thompson.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.
As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, "After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?" She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, "You wanna drive around for a bit?" She replied, "Sure, why not." During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.
I was in some shitty coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that's when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled "Why does my guy keep ducking??" I yelled "Click the left-stick" repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said "Awww, that's not nice, he learned his lesson." He learned his lesson indeed.
After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself "This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble." I couldn't have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, "Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules." Yeah, because THAT'S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?
My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to "check and see if she is ok." I'm not making this shit up. I asked my wife, "What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?" to which she replied, "Can you do that in this game?" Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)
After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City's finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled "Stop! Stop! You're being like that kid from Virginia Tech!" Seriously, I'm not making this shit up. Chalk one up for Jack-fucking-Thompson.
Is that Billy Dee Williams under that helmet?
[12:04] Wes Rucks (Evansville): Nothing washes the taste of cold murder out of your mouth and throat like a smooth colt 45 malt liquor
Monday, May 05, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
Some of America’s most venerable newspapers face extinction
Pick almost any American newspaper company and you can tell a similar story. The ABC reported that for the 530 biggest dailies, average circulation in the past six months was 3.6% lower than in the same period a year earlier.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story